The YARDI Guy
Up One Level Letters to TEDitor IF IT BLEEDS... SPAM!

SPAM!

 

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LELLA DESIRES ME!

My Dear,

Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. I got your name and contact from a member of this site. I prayed over it and selected your name among other names due to its esteeming nature and the recommendations given to me as a reputable and trust worthy person that I can do business with and by the recommendation , I must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere business . I am Lella Kane the only daughter of late Mr and Mrs kane. My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Free Town, the economic capital of Sierra Leone, my father was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their outings on a business trip. My mother died when I was a baby and since then my father took me so special. Before the death of my father on January 2005 in a private hospital here in Free Town he secretly called me on his bed side and told me that he has the sum of four million,two hundred thousand United State Dollars.

USD (4.200,000) left in fixed / suspense account in one of the prime bank here in Senegal ,that he used my name as his only daughter for the next of Kin in depositing of the fund. He also explained to me that it was because of his wealth that he was poisoned by his business associates. That I should seek for a foreign partner in a country of my choice where i will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose.

Dear, I am honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways:

(1) To provide a bank account into which this money would be transferred into.

(2) To serve as a guardian of this fund since I am only 24years.

(3) To make arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my education and to secure a resident permit in your country.

Moreover, I am willing to offer you 15% of the total sum as compensation for your effort/ input after the successful transfer of this fund into your nominated account overseas.

Furthermore, you indicate your options towards assisting me as I believe that this transaction would be concluded within fourteen (14) days you signify interest to assist me. Anticipating to hear from you soon.

Thanks and God bless.

Best Regards Lella...


I'm Canceling Myself!

Dear Zeck Member,

Your e-mail account was used to send a huge amount of unsolicited spam messages during the recent week. If you could please take 5-10 minutes out of your online experience and confirm the attached document so you will not run into any future problems with the online service.

If you choose to ignore our request, you leave us no choice but to cancel your membership.

Virtually yours,
The Zeck Support Team


YUKOS NUTS
but leave ME alone!

DEAR FRIEND,

MY NAME IS MRS. AHAT SOSNITSKAYA, PERSONAL SECRETARY TO MR. BORIS MIKHAIL KHODORKOVSKY, OWNER OF YUKOS OIL IN RUSSIA WHO WAS JAILED DURING THE PRECEDING WEEKS FOR FINANCING POLITICAL PARTIES (the Union of Right Forces, led by Boris Nemtsov, and Yabloko, a liberal/social democratic party led by Gregor Yavlinsky), OPPOSED TO THE GOVERNMENT OF MR. VLADMIR PUTIN, THE PRESIDENT OF RUSSIA FEDERATION, THEREBY LEADING TO THE FREEZING OF HIS FINANCES AND ASSETS.

I HAVE THE DOCUMENTS OF A LARGE AMOUNT OF FUNDS WHICH HE GAVE TO ME BEFORE HIS ARREST AND TRIAL AND I AM CONTACTING YOU TO ASSIST ME TO RE-PROFILE THE FUNDS AND EQUALLY INVEST SAME ON BEHALF OF HIS FAMILY.

THE TOTAL AMOUNT OF FUNDS TO BE RE-PROFILLED IS ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY FIVE MILLION DOLLARS (USD$155,000,000.00) AND YOU WILL BE PAID 1.8% FOR YOUR MANAGEMENT SERVICES.

AS SOON AS I RECEIVE YOUR ACCEPTANCE, I WILL SEND YOU THE NECESSARY DETAILS AND MY IDENTIFICATION.PLEASE REPLY THIS MAIL THROUGH THIS E-MAIL ADDRESS:hatsosnitskaya11@netscape.net

YOURS SINCERELY,

MRS. AHAT SOSNITSKAYA


I CAN RETIRE EARLY!!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the South Australia SA Lotto Winners International programs held on the 17th,April 2005. Your e-mail address attached to Code number 02344460766-5400 with claim number 2370-788 drew lucky numbers 4-77-52-99-51-67 that consequently won in the 1st category; you have been approved for a lump sum pay out of $1,000,000.00 (One Million US Dollars).

My only question, Mr. "Barry Blake" (or should I call you Mr. Barrinofski Blakofski?), is WHY does an Australian lottery have a Romanian e-mail address?"


(PROBABLY) FROM RUSSIA, WITH LOVE

THIS HAS BEEN OUR CLOSING EFFORT

We have made an effort to drop a line to you on multiple times and now is the time to respond!

Your current financial loan situation makes you eligible for you for up to a 3.80% lower rate.

However, thanks to our previous attempts to drop a line to you have failed,
this will be our final try to enable you to receive the lower rate.

Please bring to an end this final step upon receiving this notice immediately,and complete your submission now.

Request Form Here.

If your decision is not to make use of this final offer going here will help you to do so.

You might want to learn English before trying to con American Capitalist Pigs, comrade!


Quoth The Talking Barbie:
"MATH IS HARD!"

Invitation No. TY-31678Pz

Dear ndwb83khp@zeck.com

Mortgage. You have been pre-approved. Your Approval# is: TG-10982YH
You can get $243,000 for as little as $243 a month, thanks to your pre-approval.

Either this spammer is a COMPLETE MORON or hopes to find a COMPLETE MORON to con.  Even at ZERO PERCENT INTEREST, $243,000 at $243 per month would take 1,000 months to repay!  A typical home mortgage is for 30 years or 360 months.  This purported mortgage, "pre-approved" for a Mr. Ndwb83khp Zeck, no relation (I think this Mr. Zeck must be from Rwanda, where vowels are optional), would take EIGHTY-THREE AND ONE-THIRD YEARS!!!

If someone truly wants to loan me a quarter of a million bucks and will accept monthly payments of only $243, I'll take it AT ANY INTEREST RATE!!!